Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

Have you ever noticed how one thought can color your whole day? You wake up, glance at your phone, and think, “I’m already behind. Nothing ever goes right for me.” By the time you’ve finished your coffee, that thought has turned into a mood, and the mood has turned into a day.

I see this all the time in my work, and I’ve lived it myself. The good news is this: thoughts are powerful, but they are not in charge of you. With practice and grace, we can learn to notice them, question them, and choose better ones.

An Old Truth

Long before modern psychology, Scripture spoke to this. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (NIV).

I love that phrase, the renewing of your mind. Renewal is not a one-time event. It is daily, like watering a garden through a dry West Texas summer. As a Christian counselor, I believe God cares about our thought lives, and I also believe He has given us helpful tools to work with.

Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions

One of the approaches I use is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Its basic idea is easy to understand: our thoughts, feelings, and actions are connected. When we change one, the others often begin to shift too.

Psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen gave these unhelpful thoughts a memorable name: ANTs, or Automatic Negative Thoughts. Amen Clinics describes a few common “species”:

• All-or-nothing: “If it isn’t perfect, it’s a failure.”
• Fortune telling: predicting the worst without real evidence.
• Mind reading: assuming you know what someone else is thinking.
• Guilt beatings: “I should… I must… I ought to…”
• Labeling: calling yourself or others harsh names.

Most of us recognize a few of these. Simply noticing them is a big first step.

Asking Better Questions

Amen Clinics suggests writing a troubling thought down and asking, “Is it true? Is it absolutely true?” I find that gentle curiosity helps. Instead of arguing with yourself, you get to investigate.

Notice the goal is not forced “positive thinking.” The goal is honest, accurate thinking. “I’m a total failure” becomes “I had a hard week, and I’m learning.” That is not pretending. It is telling yourself the truth.

Focusing on What’s Working

Another approach I use is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Rather than spending all our time on what is wrong, it asks hopeful questions: When was this problem a little smaller? What were you doing differently then? What would one small step forward look like?

You already have strengths, even if you can’t see them right now. Sometimes we just need help finding them again.

Being Present

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy blends CBT with mindfulness, which means paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Instead of getting swept downstream by every thought, you learn to sit on the bank and watch it float by. “There’s that worry again.” You notice it, breathe, and let it pass.

For many of my clients, this pairs beautifully with prayer and quiet time with God. Being still is a practice of faith as well as a skill for the mind.

A Few Gentle Practices to Try

These are general ideas for everyday life, not individual treatment:

• Catch it. When your mood dips, pause and ask, “What was I just thinking?”
• Write it down. Thoughts often look different on paper.
• Question it kindly. “Is this completely true? What would I tell a friend?”
• Look for exceptions. When has this gone even a little better?
• Renew daily. Pick a verse or a truthful phrase to return to when worries come.

Change usually comes slowly, one thought at a time. Be patient with yourself. You are not starting over every time you stumble; you are building something.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

This article is for general encouragement and is not a substitute for individual care. Some thought patterns are deeply rooted in hard experiences, and it can help to have someone walk with you. I gently encourage you to reach out to a licensed professional.

If you’d like to work with me here in Midland or by video in Texas, please Start with the New Patient Assessment. Once it is received, we will reach out to schedule your first visit.

With hope,
Bobbi

Sources

• Romans 12:2, New International Version. Bible Gateway: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012%3A2&version=NIV
• Amen Clinics. “Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs): How to Stop Toxic Thinking and Rewire Your Brain.” July 7, 2025. https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/number-one-habit-develop-order-feel-positive/